Do you like your coffee with cream or black?

I had an interesting conversation with a colleague a couple days ago that I would like to share (& blog about, lol). It was regarding a special that ABC ran on "Why Can't a Successful Black Woman Find A Man?"
And here goes the discourse...

MB [3:49 PM]:
did u watch that Nightline special?

Douglas, Monique [3:51 PM]:
OMG. How about it didn't tape!!

MB [3:51 PM]:
oooo, that smells

Douglas, Monique [3:51 PM]:
hahahahahahahaha

MB [3:52 PM]:
yeah, the men on the guys panel said women need to date more men with potential and women look too much at status...and the women said that they've tried, and the men end up being tired brothers. I have my own opinion of what I think more black women should do...

Douglas, Monique [4:16 PM]:
And what do you think Black women should do?

MB [4:16 PM]:
well there aren't a lot of good black men out there...that's been proven.
so

Douglas, Monique [4:17 PM]:
true

MB [4:17 PM]:
why don't black women date more outside of our culture? And not just white men...other cultures. Men of other cultures love black women, are fascinated by them.It seems like a lot of black women don't even consider it when in reality, they may meet someone who may treat them the way they want to be treated, less drama, more resposnible, etc. etc.

Douglas, Monique [4:18 PM]:
i agree!

MB [4:19 PM]:
from what I know, men from other cultures are a bit intimidated by black women, which is why they don't approach as much but if Black Women opened themselves up more, they'd hit the jackpot. I just think Black Women need to think out of the box more. Black men aren't the only ones out there.
***

WOW. Now there's a thought. Albeit nothing revolutionary but certainly enough to inspire a blog post...

DISCLAIMER TO BLACK WOMEN: In no way am I saying that the only way to find love is to date outside of your race.

Now that that's out of the way, I do find it interesting that some of us (fairly successful Black Women) frown upon those that choose to do so or they don't consider it an option at all! Why not? Some of us surely are considering it. What is so taboo?

I dated a man of Czech descent for 2 years & some change. Early in our relationship, I would tell my loved ones the cute story of how we met & how happy I was; their voices would emulate excitement & genuine happiness for me! I too was thrilled to be as happy as I was! Then the inevitable, "what does he look like" question would come about. So I'd respond truthfully:

"Well he's 6'4"...a genuine, big smile...kind of a swimmer/basketball player build...36 years old...brown hair...blue eyes"

[Insert a solid 5 seconds of silence]

The shock was clearly discerned in their voice as they continued to congratulate me. Let me be sure to note though that it's not that my loved ones were AGAINST it, they were simply surprised at the blue-eyed description as I'd never dated outside of my race before.

So why won't some of us cross over? Does it have to do with where you're from? In other words, in my opinion interracial dating is more accepted in highly populated, multicultural metropolitan areas like New York & Miami. Lately, there have been plenty a stir over Sandra Bullock's adoption of a New Orleans/Hurricane Katrina displaced child, but... mainly because he's Black. Does skin pigmentation really matter if a child can result from a loving home & family? Well, that's another blog in itself...

The overall central theme is the same though: Some of us need not see race. It's 2010, when do we leave history for the history books? In no way am I saying forget what our ancestors experienced, I'm saying let's move forward to the future.

Ideally, it would be nice to marry someone of Jamaican/American decent like me, who could somewhat relate to my story and my cultures, but will I let that be my only criteria? Oh no. As seen in the Nightline special, there's a huge gap in the numbers of single Black women v. other women. Perhaps we need to try something new to satisfy us?

The earlier conversation with my coworker was with an educated, successful Black Man. He firmly believes that Black Women should try to date outside of our race & I agree with him -and not because I have- but because love doesn't discriminate. If a man can provide for a woman, is educated, kind-hearted, open-minded, family oriented & meets whatever the other aesthetic or general standards are for that woman, well then... nothing else should matter.

Right?