I don't know why people date. I have had 9 consecutive bad dating experiences, I'm starting to feel like either it's me or the universe is just against all things referring to dating & me! From the violent, the car-less & the liars, to those that don't know how to use the telephone, those that lie about their phone usage & those that are just flat out weird...I've seen it all and let me tell you, I'm not too pleased with the XY chromosomes these days.
When I told one of my best friends about my latest & greatest disappointment, her response after her initial shock was "It's not you. It's them. Seriously." A part of me confidently agrees with her but it's the other part of me that says "am I attracting the wrong types of men?"
Approaching 30 will make you reflect on your life decisions but I'm finding that the more I inch towards September 21, my experiences with men get more & more outrageous. Is this what I have to look forward to?
And if it isn't me, why is it them??
Why does it take men so long to figure shit out? Sure women mature faster, but is the maturity curve really by THAT much? Do I now have to wait until I'm 37 to meet a guy who is mature enough to be what I expect him to be?
And for the record, I don't hold any impossible expectations nor are there any invisible bars that he isn't aware of or can't reach. I am a very reasonable person & per some of my friends, I tend to be too nice & too forgiving (hence why I'm curious If I'm bringing this on myself or if it's really, truly "them").
Anyway, I think the point she was trying to make is that I'm just in a bad dating ditch right now. I keep meeting guys that seemingly are the ones that can get me out of the ditch, but they're losers & don't have the strength, knowledge or common sense to do so, which...is not my fault.
So I guess I'll keep trekking along... even though I really don't have the energy anymore to go down this road.
Your son saved my son's life
8 years ago
I firmly believe that it's not you, it's them - the type of men you are attracting in Charlotte, a zip code in your comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteI think your relocation from North Carolina - and the change of scenery - will do you some good. There will be bad dates everywhere. Women complain about them just as much in New York City as they do in Charlotte, but I think you've outgrown the Charlotte scene. As you continue to progress, in your 30s, in Miami, I think you'll find new, diverse channels and avenues of female evolution that will help you attract a different breed of men.
A change in scenery has helped others grow more than it has ever held others back. Sometimes it helps you find new ways. Sometimes it makes you appreciate old ones.
Women and men live in a constantly evolving world, where we all have more choices ... to openly follow our natural sexual orientation, to make education and career a priority, to appreciate the privileges and endure the side effects/consequences of being able to be "picky." As our choices expand and our society multiplies and evolves, the search for that "one" will continue to more closely resemble a needle in a haystack.
But as you continue down the often tumultuous road of dating - which Mother Nature, hormones and the instinct to procreate - will inevitably not let you avoid, don't lose a few key things:
Integrity, compassion and hope.