The Call

I just got a phone call from somebody that I used to have extreme feelings for, feelings that allowed me to lower my standards. No I'm not saying that this guy was beneath me, on the contrary, however every woman has a 'list of tolerances' she uses as a relationship measuring cup. She pours in small doses of indecisiveness, feelings of being unappreciated and most ladies add even a very small dose of infidelity. All I'll say is, among my list of tolerances was a behavior that placed his desires above mine.

If a woman's 'list of tolerances' isn't written, then it's definitely in our 'mental' scrolls. Every woman has a list. She knows what she will put up with, how much of it she'll put up with and who she will put up with, the minute she decides to open herself up to a man. For over a year, I hid my need to be in a "serious" relationship instead of coming forth with what I desired. This man was pretty adamant about his desire to not be "tied down", so you can imagine my shock when the phone rang.

He needed me. He was enthralled in a cruel love game his ex was playing with him, and didn't know how to deal with it. She was being inconsiderate of his time. She pretended to want to spend time with him, then blew him off (but only when it was convenient for her of course). Granted, I don't agree with what she did or is doing, but it makes me realize how much crap I am no longer willing to tolerate! I'm almost 30 and though "age is but a number", I find that my new list of tolerances is no longer anorexic. There are just more things that I no longer have the energy to thumb through. I listened to him vent on the phone & all I felt was pity. Pity that he can't see how the repetitive patterns in his life are stunting his growth. Thankfully with every birthday, I find some sort of inner reflection and relationship reflection.

The phone call today reminded me of how far I've come in my old age (that's a joke). I'm thankful that I'm wrapping up my 20s in a healthy way, recognizing my needs and desires, and not feeling afraid to stand by them.